Sunday, July 8, 2012


It`s already morning at 3:30 am when I woke up to fix all the things needed by my son and my niece upon going to school. When they were both picked by their school bus, I sat on my sofa and came to think about what we have been through on the past years and how simple things became so important and the value of having everyone around. I don`t know why all those thoughts came into my mind and I`m not convinced when I think that maybe I`m just afraid that one day I might find myself living alone.

Everyone knows how I became so hard headed and rebellious person during my college days that`s why I became pregnant at an early age of 18. I just want to feel independent with all my decisions during those times but never thought about the accountabilities I might have when I failed. I always tell my parents that no matter how hard they do upon preaching me, it will just pass on my ears and come out on the other. I wasn`t   able to finish my degree in nursing because I got failed with one of my major subject. I decided to shift on a different course on other school but there I`ve met the father of my children. We`ve done our civil wedding after 8 years of being together. But 3 years more had passed after the wedding when we finally got separated. We`ve been having problems beforehand regarding our deal with my in-laws, individual differences and more personal things. We`ve fought for it in our 10 years of marriage but we failed. Our love yielded 2 loving and kind children namely Mike Joseph and + Elyza Angel but my daughter angel died 6 years ago because of Acute Pneumonia and she got a respiratory cardiac arrest which resulted to multiple organ failure. Much of the years has passed but I still felt hurt every time I remembered about her difficulties. All I can do was to close my eyes and pray. I know I have let her go because I know that is all she needs to feel and live free even on the after life.

Now, after several years of struggle, I came back to life again. I applied for my very first job because I haven`t got any since I graduated from my two years of college after I gave birth to my first born child. I got lucky because I got hired as a call center agent for a U.S, based account. I have also been to a lot of telemarketing jobs after my end-of-contract on my first. Now I feel I have a lot of weapons to survive and support my son Mike Joseph and pay all my debts but after 4 years of work, our account has been dissolved and the company had closed.

I have decided to vary my path of life on a different career line but it was not a success. Three years has passed since my last job and still I remain unemployed. I got busy on a thing called blog  but off course it all started from a scratch but after 2 years of constructing it I can now feel better when it started to show me some figures. It`s not that much by I know somehow, someday when I have learn everything on how to maintain it, success will come on my way.

I told myself that I should not remain jobless. Need an alternative source of income while I wait for my blog site to generate more traffic at large cost and more figures. What if there are no parents, brothers or sisters that will hand out a help on me and my son because they are somewhere far doing their obligations on their own life now. I told myself that I should not remain like this. I still have my son who needs my support and I don`t want to forsake him. He`s the only important one I still have . Now I set myself to implement my plan for my goal. I don`t want to be pessimistic.

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