Tuesday, January 4, 2011

I MISS MY BABY SO MUCH! (recovering from the greatest pain in my life)

I really miss my baby so much !!! It was 5 years ago  when my daughter passed away due to acute bronchopneumonia. And though, years had passed and everything had changed but I can still feel the pain. And I believed that it is the greatest pain in my life. During those times, I just don`t know how I could bring back everything into life. The only thing that reminds me always is that ...I still have a son beside me who walks with me through good and hard times.

this is her picture when she was still four months old
This photo is a sole property of www.jolyzaliezel.blogspot.com
 It was really very hard for me to think of ways on how I can face the reality that she`s gone. There`s no minute of everyday that I never thought of her. Seeing her face smiling at me so sweetly with her angelic perfect beauty and watching her playing with her lips like playing a guitar as I hear the smooth and gentle

sound, looking back as she tilts her head halfway just to cheer me up whenever she see me crying as I carry her, how would you believe that at her early months she already knows how to dance (bending her knees in and out with the beat of the music) and most of all ....how will you imagine that a daughter living on her 6th month in this world knows the value of relinquishing for other`s benefits. And Now! she even served her life for a great purpose. Those are some of the things which I can`t forget even for just a while.And until then I can`t help missing her so much. I never noticed that my tears started to fall as I silently pray and pronounced my poem for my daughter angel dear.............

this was taken 2 weeks before she died
This photo is a sole property of www.jolyzaliezel.blogspot.com


how i could imagine
its been three years past
cuddling you in my arms and make you laugh
for that sweetest smile i had ever seen
every time i tried i seldom see
for all those great times i had with you
which make my life complete
you have opened my eyes wide for all the things i cant see
making each time with you a very special moment
are the things that now i could hardly reach

her picture taken 2 weeks before she passed away.
This photo is a sole property of www.jolyzaliezel.blogspot.com

 simple things that you have made
the precious times of my life
are the things that i will remember
up to the last seconds of my breath.
if only i could turn back time i just wish
that losing you never happened
drops of tears and greatest pains
could take no place and
now i know you`re all gone
though its too late i still wanted you to know
you will always have me by heart and soul

This photo is a sole property of www.jolyzaliezel.blogspot.com 
The death of my daughter became an eye opener for all. And served as a turning point of my life. It has been a great lesson especially to us. Our life is an open book to anyone who asked. I know that all of us had this great fault." Lahat kami ay may malaking pagkukulang at ang pinakamasakit para sa akin .....ako ang ina na mas dapat na nakakaalam ng the best para sa kanya pero kahit ako na ina ay naiwang tuliro habang inaatake siya ng sakit niya!" 

It is really hard for me to easily accept the fact that my daughter is now gone. And indeed, it is the greatest pain of my life. Because after what had happened I don`t even know where to start. Or how I will be able to face life once again without her. Not months but years until I`ve realized that I am not the only one who have been greatly affected when I suddenly heard my son speak up to me and said...."Mama nandito pa rin ako at dalawa kaming anak mo...I will be right here beside you always and will never leave you no matter what happen I will always stand by your side....My sister won`t be glad if she will see you crying and not moving on ...And all we have to do is to pray for her soul and serve what had happened as the great turning point of our lives. Let us not put all her sacrifices into waste...but instead...just move on and that will make her very happy."


  1. She is so beautiful. I am so sorry for your loss. I can not even imagine. I thought that was a beautiful post. Following you from MBC!


  2. It`s ok and thank you Hyde.Actually, I have created this blog not only because it is one way on how I can express and release all my emotions from my great hardship in life but also for the intention to help other moms specially those beginner mom who are on their family way right now so that they have at least something to read on as their guide and they wont have same mistake as mine from my past.


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